Moving in Together Is About Love—and Money

I mentor a lot of business students, and every semester I hear about how many live with a romantic partner. Today, moving in sooner rather than later seems to be a trend. And understandably, saving money is often a big part of the decision. In fact, 80% of Gen Z respondents who moved in with a romantic partner say finances contributed to their decision, according to a Realtor.com survey.

I can totally relate. Saving money was definitely one of the reasons my college boyfriend and I moved in together. And today, with rents on the rise, the savings can be that much greater. The median national rent for a one-bedroom rental apartment in the U.S. was $1,569 ($1,705 for a two-bedroom), according to the ApartmentAdvisor National Rent Report. If you live in a big city, those costs could be double. That's a big commitment when you're living paycheck to paycheck or working a side gig to help make ends meet.

But while moving in together could make a lot of sense financially, saving on rent is only part of the picture. It's not only rent that you're sharing, but also a whole lot of other day-to-day living expenses—plus the decisions on how to cover them. And that could lead to misunderstanding and resentment in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, if not handled upfront.

My college boyfriend and I learned a lot about money from living together. One of those lessons was how important it is to communicate openly about it. So if you're considering moving in with a partner, be sure you have the money talk first. It may not feel comfortable, but it's definitely worth it. Here are three important things to consider before you make the move.

From big ticket items to everyday living, sharing an address means sharing the ongoing costs, and it isn't always as simple as splitting everything down the middle. What if one of you makes more money than the other or is carrying more debt? How do you make it fair? You really must take the time to talk it out.

Also, if you need to buy furniture or appliances, who pays for what? Will you share them equally? Will each of you pay for different items? Our 22-year-old son shares a house with five people, and they had to furnish the common rooms. They figured out who would pay for what and who would keep it after they moved out, kept receipts, and then put it down in writing in an email to the group so there'd be no misunderstandings down the road.

Then there's the everyday expenses like streaming services, internet, utilities, groceries, even nights on the town. How will you divide them? You could come up with a monthly household budget, have a joint account, and each contribute equally. Or, as my college boyfriend and I did, you could keep your money separate and contribute to the household according to your percentage of total income.

There's no right or wrong way, and it doesn't have to be complicated. But it's important to have clear rules of the road as you're starting out so there are fewer problems later.

Whether or not you're living with someone else, you want to be smart about managing your own money. And that comes down to budget management. It's pretty straightforward: How much is coming in, and how much is going out?

Start by making a list of your essential expenses and your extras. Can you cover them all with your income? If not, prioritize. What extras can you cut out? Is there a way to increase your income? Getting into debt every month to cover your costs is a big red flag.

If you're having problems, don't hide it. Have the uncomfortable conversation about money with your partner sooner rather than later. You don't want to be the person someone has to ask, "So when are you going to pay the rent this month?" Again, it's about communication.

How much can you anticipate saving each month by moving in with your partner? If recent stats are any indication, it could be significant—anywhere from $500 to $2,000 a month.

What will you do with that money? I think it's critical that you have a specific savings goal in mind, otherwise you may be inclined to spend the savings and not truly realize the benefits. Maybe it's paying off student loans; maybe it's creating an emergency fund. Need some ideas?

Here are my top three:

• If you work for a company that has a retirement plan, contribute enough to get the company match.
• Pay off non-deductible, high-interest debt like credit cards.
• Create an emergency fund to cover at least three months of essential living expenses.

If you have these covered, think about your longer-term goals—a wedding or a down payment on a home—and set up separate savings accounts for them. Whatever your goals, make the most of the money you're able to save by having a plan right from the start.

Things don't always work out, and you should be prepared for that too. What if the relationship ends before the lease expires? What will you do with the things you own in common? Money differences can cause problems at any point in a relationship because while it's financial, it's also emotional. We all have different feelings about money based on our family backgrounds and personal experiences. And resentment can build very quickly before you even recognize it's there.

Living with someone can be a real learning experience about both love and money. It certainly was for me. And some of those lessons stayed with me. As I learned early on from living with my college boyfriend, keeping your finances separate can make things easier. And my husband and I still do that after 13 years of marriage. We have a joint account for shared expenses and decide every year what percentage we'll each contribute based on our respective incomes. It works for us. It could work for you. But communication is the key.

It's not always easy to talk about money, but don't underestimate its importance for both your present situation and your future. On the plus side, you just might find out you're even more compatible than you thought!